Focusing on a growth mindset.

How do you support someone who doesn't want your support?

I keep running into this question. Not in dramatic ways—just watching people I care about settle for less than they're capable of, unsure whether speaking up will help or push them away.

I find it hard to work alongside people who have such low expectations for themselves. So many people sell themselves short, talk themselves out of opportunities before trying, and frame their limitations as permanent facts. The tricky part? They often think they're just "being realistic."

Here's where I get stuck: I want to help people challenge these self-imposed ceilings. But you can't force growth on someone who isn't ready. You can't care about someone's potential more than they care about it themselves.

What I'm experimenting with:

Asking better questions instead of giving advice. When someone says "I'm not qualified for that," I respond with curiosity: "What makes you say that?" Sometimes people need to hear their own reasoning out loud to realize it doesn't hold up.

Celebrating their wins more than they do. "You said you weren't good at public speaking, but that presentation was really solid."

Modeling the mindset rather than preaching it. People are more influenced by what they see than what they're told.

Accepting that some people aren't ready yet. Sometimes the most supportive thing is stepping back. Pushing too hard can make them less likely to come to you when they are ready.

What I'm still wrestling with:

There's a fine line between encouraging someone and projecting your own values onto them. Maybe they're genuinely content, and I need to adjust my expectations.

But there's also a difference between contentment and fear disguised as contentment. Between choosing your path intentionally and being too scared to imagine a different one.

The question I keep coming back to: How do you create space for people to grow without making them feel like who they are right now isn't enough?

I'm learning that sometimes the best support looks like patience, presence, and being the kind of person they'd want to come to when they're ready to change.

Until next week—praying for your success,

James

Have you figured out how to encourage someone without pushing them away?