Wishing others the best…
Lately, I've been reflecting on something: How do we still wish good things for people who've hurt us?
I've been seeing a lot of people get crossed by former friends, and it's made me wonder—how do we refrain from speaking negatively about them? Even if we don't fully mean the harsh words in the moment, surely putting that negativity out into the universe can't be good. Yet it's so tempting when we're hurt.
When someone wrongs us, our first instinct is often to vent—to tell everyone what they did, to make sure others see them the way we now see them. It feels justified. But I've noticed something: the more we rehearse someone's wrongs, the heavier they become in our own hearts. We think we're releasing the hurt by talking about it, but sometimes we're actually reinforcing it.
Processing vs. Harboring
Maybe the answer isn't about suppressing our feelings, but about processing them honestly while choosing not to let bitterness define our response. There's a difference between working through pain with a trusted friend and broadcasting someone's mistakes to anyone who'll listen. One helps us heal; the other keeps us stuck.
Here's what I'm learning: wishing someone well doesn't mean what they did was okay. It doesn't mean you have to reconcile or pretend it didn't happen. It means you're choosing not to carry the weight of resentment—not for their sake, but for yours. It means recognizing that their chapter in your story has ended, and you're not going to let their actions write the rest of your pages.
This isn't easy, and it's definitely not instant. Some days you'll feel generous; other days you'll feel the sting all over again. But maybe it starts with small shifts: catching yourself mid-complaint and asking, "Is this helping me heal or keeping me hurt?" Choosing to redirect conversations when they veer into gossip territory. Acknowledging that people can hurt us deeply and still be worthy of grace—not because they've earned it, but because we deserve the peace that comes with offering it.
There's a quiet strength in wishing someone well after they've wronged you. Not a weakness that tolerates mistreatment, but a strength that says: "What you did to me won't dictate who I become."
Until next week—praying for your success,
James
What do you think? How do you navigate this balance?
