Turning 20 and Still Figuring It Out

This Monday is my 20th birthday. I haven't quite gotten there yet, but with it right around the corner I've already found myself doing a lot of reflecting. It's a big number and I'm not sure I feel ready for it, whatever that even means.

20 always seemed like such a grown-up number when I was younger. I think I assumed that by the time I got here I would feel more settled. More put together. But the reality is I'm still in school, still being supported in a lot of ways, still very much in the process of becoming whoever I'm going to be. That's a strange thing to sit with as the day gets closer.

I don't say that as a complaint. My life is good and I know how fortunate I am. It's more just an honest observation. Adulthood doesn't arrive all at once the way you expect it to when you're a kid. It sneaks up on you in pieces. Some days you feel it and some days you really don't.

What I'm reminding myself is that there's no shame in still being in the process. The pressure to have it all figured out at 20 is real, but I don't think it's fair. If you're in school, still being taken care of, still finding your footing, that doesn't mean you're behind. It means you're in it. And being in it is exactly where you're supposed to be right now.

Until next week, I'm praying for you,

James

Are you in a season where you feel like you're still figuring it out? What's helped you embrace the process?